The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
