I like my sex mixed with concussions.
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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