You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
