time to smoke my breakfast
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
