yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
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