Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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