I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
he shaved USA in his pubs
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
