I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
