you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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