Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Randomize
