it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
