u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
