I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
