it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
There was a lot of him and a little penis
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
When are your genitals available?
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
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