you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Who put my cat in the fridge?
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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