Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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