Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Randomize
