Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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