so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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