Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
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