You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Randomize
