I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
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