I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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