gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
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