I think scott just propositioned me for sex
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
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