what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
she peed on how many people?
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I lost the right to judge tonight
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize
