she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize
