3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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