this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
