I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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