I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
