is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
