I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Randomize
