ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Randomize
