Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
