i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
im holly from the hills drunk
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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