I hate your face
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
