Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Randomize
