Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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