I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
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