where does the pee come out of this thing
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Randomize
