How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Randomize
