all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Randomize