Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
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