I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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