we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
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