went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
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