What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize
