When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
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