last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
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