What a fucking waste of an outfit
Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
Come see our sink grown plant.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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