I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
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