I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
It's just like the Real World with babies
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
