I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize