But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
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