so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
