all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
tell me about the eggs
Randomize