im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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