My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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