How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Randomize
