wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
