i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
