Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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