That's intense
I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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