His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Randomize
