your parents love me but you hate me
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Randomize
